Sneaky Bastard

Last Thursday night I went to Bandit’s for a couple beers. I enjoyed a few mugs of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and a Valentine’s Day sugar cookie from my bartender. When they closed, I walked back to my truck, just a couple hundred yards away. It was only 10:00 PM, and I wasn’t really drunk. However, I knew I had too much to drive home right away, so I planned on sitting in the truck and catching up on a few podcasts. On the way to the parking structure, I thought I’d sneak off to water the shrubbery. That’s about all I remember… I woke up 8 hours later in a storm drain. Apparently, I twisted my ankle, tumbled down the embankment, and hit my head on the concrete curb. I regained consciousness, freezing my ass off, and hobbled to the truck to blast the heater. I drove home with a bloody head, swollen ankle, and muddy clothes. My dog looked at me like I was a complete idiot — I could see the disdain in his eyes.

Later that day I went to the emergency room to see if any damage required more attention. Fortunately, Heather offered to drive me there. She even brought a wonderful dinner to eat while waiting. The x-rays on my ankle didn’t show anything broken (which made me feel like a big baby). The CAT scan on my head was normal too, which surprised everyone, considering. They gave me a pair of crutches and sent me on my way. I didn’t deserve any sympathy, but I certainly did receive some wonderful nursing yesterday. I feel pretty good today. :)

So, it may be that the purpose of my life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Many people have asked about the Mistakes poster. It’s a Demotivator® from Despair, Inc. Enjoy.